So that there’ll be no confusion in the future. In this blog I’ll write about things that happen around me, matter to me, amaze me, disgust me, motivate me, depress me, draw me in, gross me out, love me, hate me, etc. etc. So yes, you get the drift, it’s all about… *does wild circle motion with hand then jabs thumb at chest*… ME!
Sounds selfish? Hell yeah. But isn’t that what blogs are? You elbow yourself in, claim a little spot on the www, folk out a few bucks to make yourself a virtual address (I wanted iamarealprincesswhowearsstockingsonherhead.com so bad, but dammit they said it was too long!) You then decorate this virtual housing with things like 2 stone frogs & 3 stuffed crocodiles & 4 real kangaroos from the back yard. To make it all homey & cosy, see.
Then the next step is to terrorise your friends into logging on & subscribing to said virtual address with said decoration, with promises that they won’t have to hear about craps like “The best nose-picking techniques: Tried & Tested”, or “How to tweeze out ingrown hair: The Secret Revealed”, or similarly disgusting things. But instead will receive in their inboxes lovely flowery updates about your very interesting life & inspirational thoughts & sophisticated musings, such as “How I managed to sleep for 10 hours last night & am going to sleep some more”, or “Guess the colour of my eye-shadow today, which I spent 4 hours choosing, and win a whopping Nokia… 8350.” (That’s THE lastest, most expensive fancy schmancy phone out there right now, right? Right? What? So you’re saying now is NO LONGER 1998? Are you sure?). You know, exciting things like that. Who wouldn’t want to subscribe to your blog now?!
All done? Voila`, you can now start publishing (isn’t that a grand word? Me likey!) your daily / thrice-daily / bimonthly random rambles. Without worrying that:
1/ your Mum’s not gonna like it, or will sneak into your room when you’re not home & read it *; or
2/ the editing team at your Uni magazine is gonna jeer & sneer at your bad writing & unstructured sentences & inappropriate content **; or
3/ what? There’s no 3/. I can’t think of a 3/. Geez folks, stop being so demanding & gimme a break. I’ll think about it (3/) and get back to you later. Okay?
* Works better when Mum doesn’t know about the scary www of course. But there’s a sure way around it even if she does. It’s called “Privacy Setting”! Mwahaha. So when you get all mushy & emotional, & you miss Mum & you just have to gush out that you really do think that she’s The Very Best Mum in The Whole Wide World; you can set those entries on visible (to her). And when you need to ‘fess up to your besties that yup you really did snog that guy in high school who had like 2 thousand pimples on his chins (ew!) but why oh why on earth did you think he was so damn fine; you can also set those visible to your besties and not to Mum nor to said poor pimple guy. Neat huh? (No people, that was just an example. I never did such things. Well, nothing that involved a guy with 2 thousand zits anyway. Haha.)
** Yes, you losers. Nahhh na… na nahhhh na! I can publish my own works (another grand word), on my own website now. And not having to go around torturing my delicate nose to write that “Best Toilets on Campus Guide”. Although I must admit that it was a fine, useful piece of info; and I agree that cubicle 2 in the Ladies’ on level 4 building 12 at main campus is indeed one of the best, because it has A Loo Paper Roll that ROLLS!!! Rocket science, I know.
Anyhow so I’ve kinda lost interest in what this particular entry was for, beside the fact that I’ve wasted a bloody 90 minutes on it. So here you go, my friends, welcome to yet another pathetic attempt at creating a witty, meaningful, mind-boggling blog. Enjoy your stay / laugh. 🙂
~Amy, aka ThanhTra`, aka Blog Mistress~