You could never guess who magically did FOUR FULL LOADS OF WASHING yesterday! Plus folding up and putting away another two loads, in between vacuum cleaning the whole place, grocery shopping, and cooking REAL food. Some WONDER WOMAN accidentally dropped on Earth from Ganymede – the 7th moon of Jupiter, that’s who!
In the lingering spirit of such Highly Advanced Domesticity, here are some random tips:
~ Be organised and time-manage even the smallest tasks. Put in a load of washing so the machine can do its share while you run around doing other things. Clean the stoves and cupboards BEFORE the kitchen floor, NOT the other way around. Things like that. Not exactly rocket science but it really helps.
~ Do you know that balling up 20 pairs of (clean) socks with their “respective partners” right at the clothe-lines would save you a WHOPPING TOTAL of 2.5 MINUTES?! Instead of chucking them all in a basket and having to dive right into the heap to sort them out later on.
~ Do not, I repeat, DO NOT, put a red dress in the washing machine with another white one. Or any other coloured ones, for that matter. NEVER. Not even if your life depends on it. Because you know quite well how it’d turn out! Not even when you know the red one doesn’t leak dye, no, hasn’t leaked dye IN THE PAST (!) Not even when you can’t be stuffed. If you really can’t be stuffed, just don’t wash the damn thing and shove it in storage, TIME will somehow clean it, and next time you pull it out it’ll be as good as new (or almost!). Whatever you do, DO NOT put it in with a white one, you hear?!!
~ Cleaning isn’t enjoyable but the end result is ALWAYS satisfying. The same way a good workout is. House chores doubled up as resistance training. Two birds, one stone. Just remember to keep your ab muscles tightened and taut at all times, then go ahead and SCRUB IT SWEAT IT WORK IT, baby!
~ JIF cream cleanser is GOD! A lemony chalky squeaky grease-dissolving-y God. The God who “has the power to solve really tough cleaning problems without harsh scratching.” Did I hear that right? POWER TO SOLVE REALLY TOUGH PROBLEMS? That’s it! Consider me converted. An atheist no more!
~ Fancy schmancy cookbooks are wicked! Especially those oversized glossy ones that weigh about two tonnes, with swanky pictures that look like a tropical island getaway brochure, and funny ingredient lists that sound like Italian poems. They’re nice to look at & show off though, sometimes you get full just flipping through the pages, feasting your eyes on the photos, nodding every now and again going “Yup, that‘s the one I’m gonna make next… And that spicy one with curry AND lychees… And that creamy one with chicken AND peaches… And that one… And that one…”, before you shove the whole thing back on the highest shelf with the cover facing out, or proudly display it in a prominent spot on the kitchen table — somewhere visitors can easily notice. Then leave it there gathering dust for the next ten months. Until your next day off, when you suddenly feel like polishing up your image as an (unlikely) Domestic Goddess.
But from now til then, you know that well-thumbed, dog-eared, food-splattered Vietnamese cookbook? The one you bought from a bookstore on Hai Ba Trung street for not even 2 bucks? The one with a lousy tacky photo on the front (a curly flower made from a red chilli, for crying out loud!), and a huge fish-sauce stain on the back (or was it shrimp paste? it’s hard to tell by the smell now)? Yup, that one, it would do the job just fine, would impress your friends — and their stomachs — just as well, like it’s done a thousand and one times before. And you love it! Oh yes, yes you do!