Nothing screams “WEEKEND!” better than being able to snuggle up in bed with, um… a book, till 4 in the morning, or till your eyes can’t take it no more and clam shut on their own accord, whichever’s later. Then be a sloth and sleep in until your whole body aches and your butt gets 2cm flatter, just from being horizontal and stationary for so long. (Almost half a day in some “severe cases”, ahem.) It’s funny (not!) how your muscles feel worse than they do after 40 laps at the pool, or 10km run uphill, or 3 hours straight of lindy-hopping. Bedsore — I’d rather think of that word as depicting the mattress itself feeling beaten up from having to bear the slack body on top. Poor thing.
Then, just to join in the chorus of the great weekend song, there’s washing spilling over the rim of our laundry basket, waiting to be done. Have you ever noticed how amazing it is, that there’s always washing to be done? It’s like this BIG question of life, no less. I mean, look here, despite all my effort to grow an extra body so I don’t have to play favourite with all the cute stuff I found at Camberwell market the other day, I still have only one body. ONE. Singular. And the last time I checked, m’ also only possesses the same amount of torso and limbs. So how the heck is it that we always have at least 3 loads of washing to do every weekend? Mind baffling isn’t it? Something Aristotle et al should definitely have pondered. Those who seek that eternal spring of youth — or an endless supply of Botox, for that matter — should save themselves the disappointment by coming around and take a good look at our eternal spring of… laundry. Same concept. Except that one doesn’t exist and one is perpetually IN. MY. FACE!
Although after much mumbling and grumbling about saving water, time, and arm muscle power, I’ve put it down to the fact that it is because we’re purging the wardrobe of depressing thick winter threads and moving them out to the garage. See? Another reason why in order to save the earth, we need to get rid of winter. It’s just so wasteful, don’t you see? More material for clothes, more power for heating, more time wasted on washing stuff. While that time should be much more efficiently spent… lazing out at the beach, for example. In the cold weather, people are less active, more lethargic. They smile less, whinge more, do less, sleep more. Although certain people sleep more no matter what season it is. *cough* But that’s beside the point.
Anyhoo, one more rant and I’ll be out of your hair. Why is it that no one blogs on the weekend?! Especially the professional bloggers. No one Facebooks either. Why? Why? Surely people have a little more time — while waiting for their brains to finish rattling in their skulls, thanks to that silly washing machine which has been laboriously vibrating the whole house since 2 hours ago, obviously — to check and write little daily snippets, or to send yet another friggin’ annoying Lil Green Patch request? Something that during the week they would (and should) be too busy to do? Isn’t it logical?
What? What did you just say about “a life”? What do you mean people go out and play sports and spend time with their loved ones and stuff? You mean I don’t have a life? Hah! Tell you what, just wait right there and I’ll show you how I have so much more of “a life” than you’ve ever seen. Right after I’ve hung up these 30 pairs of socks and finished cleaning that stain out of a dress (evil Thai curry!) and mend that split on the bottom of my favourite pair of pants. Hmph! Just you wait!
Anyway, life or no life, I’m going to buck the trend. I’m going to be a Weekend Blogger. By making sure to put something up here on either Saturday or Sunday, or both. Even if that means I may sometimes have to cheat and set completed posts to publish on automatic schedule. Something that, like frozen meals, I don’t really want to do.